


My Life- A Story

by SupernaturalWhoLocked



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, BAMF Tony Stark, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Angst, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalWhoLocked/pseuds/SupernaturalWhoLocked
Summary: Tony Stark is asked to become an advocate for mental health around the world- a job he's willing to take on but it means opening up to the world about his life and what's he been through. He tells the world about his life- about how his parents deaths effected him, his time in Afghanistan, the wormhole, his PTSD and anxiety. How will those closest to him, react to his revelations? What consequences come from speaking out?Only posted on my AO3 account





	My Life- A Story

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this story, I won’t reveal too much but please not the real life person I do speak about, I know nothing about her, so I can only guess from what I’ve seen of her. I don’t own anything and please, if suffering from a mental illness, please talk to someone. You are loved and cared for and there is always someone who wants to help you.

Tony Stark was nervously playing with his cuffs, as his wife adjusted his tie. He wasn’t nervous about being on tv- his whole life was played out on tv and media, but the fact that he was so willing to do _this_ and being so open about his life after so many years, it scared him. What would the public think about him? What would his teammates think when they watched this? The only people who knew what he was talking about was himself, his wife and Rhodey. His teammates knew a little, but they didn’t know his whole story. Why would they? As much as they spent time together, they always tried to keep it light hearted, to keep their minds occupied in less dark ways.

“Tony, you’ll be fine.” His wife told him, now taking his hands. He looked into her blue eyes, the eyes that were always filled with love and he couldn’t help but relax slightly.

“I’ve never done this before. Talking to you, Rhodey, Bruce or a professional is- it’s different. I’m putting myself out on a trial to be judged by a jury which is the world. What if they don’t believe me? Or think I’m only doing it for publicity?” Tony asked worriedly.

“Do you know the truth? Do you believe your own story?” Pepper asked him. He nodded. “Good because that’s all you need. Besides, Ellen reached out to you, for you to tell your story. This show- this week is based on mental health and PTSD and anxiety is one part. You are going to be a fantastic advocate for it, Tony.”

“How do you always know what to say?” Tony asked, giving her a kiss. She smiled at him as she adjusted his three piece suit for the last time.

“I’ve known you for a very long time Tony. I know you very well.” Pepper promised him. “Now you’ll do fine. I’m going to take a seat in the audience with Rhodey and Zoe and you’ll be okay, I promise.”

Tony just smiled at her again as she left to go sit in the audience to watch him speak and he looked down at his watch, a watch that his butler Jarvis used to wear and something he always use to admire and love. Jarvis had given it to him, shortly before he went to college, as a reminder to remember where he came from, something he hadn’t truly understood at the time, but now he did.

“Now, you all know him as a genius, multi-Billionaire, philanthropist, businessman turned superhero, but I know my good friend, a father, a husband and as a loving, caring and compassionate person. I’d like to introduce, Tony Stark!” Ellen DeGeneres announced. Tony took a deep breath as a producer waved him on to walk onto the set. He put on his best smile and waved to the crowd, who were cheering and clapping for him loudly. He spotted Pepper sitting with Rhodey and his year old daughter, who had been with Rhodey when Pepper was helping him look physically presentable.

“Thank you Ellen,” Tony smiled, as he hugged the host. She smiled at him as he sat down.

“So Tony, it’s been a while since I last saw. I believe it was at the- Avenger’s party? To celebrate five years together?” Ellen asked him, easing him into the set, which he greatly appreciated from his friend.

“When we were all ended up singing Christmas carols in the middle of a July party and none of us had started drinking?” Tony clarified with a smirk.

“That’d be the one.” Ellen laughed and Tony joined her.

“Good times. I still have the photos from that night.” Tony said good naturedly.

“So how have you been? I’d like to thank you for coming onto the show tonight. I know how difficult it can be talking about personal problems to the public.” Ellen told him and the audience applauded.

“I think it’s important for kids and even adults, to understand that those in the public life are just like them. We have our own problems and issues. We too, struggle to deal with those issues and  sometimes it gets bad.” Tony said simply.

“So this week is mental health week and I wanted to ask you to tell us about some- if not all- of the problems you’ve faced dealing with it.” Ellen told the audience, then turning back to Tony.

“Where do I start?” Tony joked slightly. “Actually, that is a great question. Where does it all stem from? I’d say from when- well when my parents died. Before that I had to deal with problems with me and my father and being constantly moved around. But my parents death. That was- it was awful. It was only a few days before Christmas, I was only twenty, I had just finished my Phd’s and I didn’t deal with it in a healthy way.”

“What unhealthy way did you deal with their deaths?”  

“Depression, alcohol, sex. I used alcohol and sex to numb my feelings of depression and what I’ve now been told is survivors guilt. I was actually meant to go with my parents to the airport but I cancelled on them last minute so I could throw a party without them knowing.” Tony said simply.

“How long did it take you to stop being depressed then?”

“A long time. I hit a low point- a really low point- around my mother’s birthday. The first of my parents birthdays to occur since the accident. My godmother, my best friend, and my butler, a really close family friend since world war two. They got me out of it. My godmother ripped the bottle of alcohol from my hands, my butler got me on my feet and my best friend forced me to have a shower and to properly look after myself. They gave me some tough love and at the time, I hated them for it but now, I see that they did it because they loved- love me.”

“So the depression, would you say it stopped?”

“I wouldn’t know how to describe it, to be honest with you. It did eventually stop, after a few years- but I still drank copious amounts of alcohol and always had sex. That didn’t stop until I came back from Afghanistan.”

“Afghanistan. That’s something no one knows about.” Ellen stated simply.

“That’s true. I was doing a weapons presentation, I got into a van, I was talking to the soldiers and our van blew up. They tried to- they tried to save me and died doing so. I got out, tried to escape when my own weapon landed next to me and blasted my chest full of shrapnel. I spent the next three months getting tortured, sleep deprived, hungry and dehydrated. My arc reactor was placed inside me to stop the shrapnel from the missile going into my heart and killing me. I was saved a man called Yinsen. His family had died and he had no one. We used boxes of scrap metal and used parts to create what was the first Ironman suit. He saved my life on the day I escaped. He- ah- he- um yeah he provided the distraction to get myself out of there. He got killed in the process of saving me.”

“How did that affect you then? What got you through that time?”

“I had nightmares- I still do sometimes. I don’t like having my head underwater from the waterboard torture method they used on me. I locked myself in my workshop for weeks building and improving on the first Ironman suit.” Tony paused, looking into the audience and saw Pepper, with tears in her eyes. He noticed that there wasn’t a single dry eye and it made him frown. “What got me through? I’ve only ever told my best friend this but I heard a voice- it was my now wife’s voice and my former assistant, Pepper. I heard her in my head, over and over again and I knew I had something to live for.”

“People would say you recounted the events with little emotion. I don’t believe so but what would you tell those people?”

“It’s how I deal with the events of Afghanistan. I have- I have no other way to deal without going back to being there and going through the events all over again in my head.”

“How else did you deal with the events of your capture?”

“I shut down the weapons division of my company effective immediately, I went after the people who still had my weapons who illegally attained them and I destroyed them. I’m still destroying my weapons to this day, with the help of the Avengers. After that, I found out that a close family friend, Obadiah Stane was illegally selling and using my weapons and that he wanted to kill me. We fought and he died.” Tony said simply, looking at his hands before looking up at Ellen.

“How did you deal with that then?” Ellen asked.

“I’m not sure really. I just drank and built my suits. Then I wanted to continue on the Stark Expo so I focused on that. Before the expo however, I realised I was dying from Pallidum poisoning from my arc reactor. The thing that was saving my life was also killing me. I tried every piece of science I could think of to create a new element to save myself but it didn’t work. I decided to take life threatening risks and impulsive decisions to deal with it. I had to deal with those consequences and it was hard but ultimately it lead to me rediscovering an element my father had discovered, I started a relationship with Pepper and life was good.”

“Then you met the Avengers.”

“Then I met the Avengers. I- it was hard at first for all of us. We’re all so different from each other and yet we all want what’s best for the world. We wanted to save it, to protect it. We argued- we still do- but we’re a family, and I know they would all agree with that.”

“What happened when you left Earth for those few moments?” Ellen asked. Tony took a deep breath and started to play with his wedding ring.

“I uh- I saw an entirely different world. Something I still can’t really explain to this day and it- it messed with my head. I didn’t know how to process the fact that I saw that someone wanted to invade Earth, that I had been in outer space and the fact that I died. I died for three minutes whilst in space and I fell back down to Earth. I had nightmares, for weeks on end, I didn’t sleep and so I built probably thirty Ironman suits in the short time of a few months to deal with not sleeping. I refused to tell others what I was going through and that was a big mistake. I couldn’t hear the words ‘New York’ or ‘wormhole’ without going into a panic attack and eventually my AI system diagnosed me with anxiety and PTSD.”

“How did you treat your anxiety and PTSD?”

“I went to a doctor who officially diagnosed me, I went on medication- I’m still on it- and I see a physiologist every two weeks. I still have moments- but I can recognise it as can my wife and best friend and they help me if they’re with me. I have some bad days but they’re less and less now.”

“Your life has changed greatly, since all of that you’re overcoming. You got married, you have a beautiful daughter and you built the new Avengers headquarters. You haven’t let your life been defined by your mental illness.” Ellen said simply. Tony smiled at her.

“Yes, I got married to Pepper- how she agreed I have no idea. Then shortly after that she fell pregnant and had our daughter, who just turned one on the weekend.”

“How has being a father and a husband changed you?”

“It’s changed me immensely. I no longer have to worry about myself, there’s this little human who looks up to me and solely depends on me and my wife to get her through life and so I have to be the best person I can be so she can succeed in life and she can be better than me.”

“What advice would you give people, who not only suffer from PTSD and anxiety, but from any mental health issue?” Ellen asked. Tony paused for a moment.

“Getting help, talking about my problems- it was the best thing for me. Talking to someone, it lifts a weight off your shoulders and it helped me so much. So yeah, I’d tell people to talk about their problems, because there is always someone who wants to help you, who is willing to be at your side, during the good times and the bad times. Seek the proper treatment for your mental illness too.”

The audience applauded him and he looked over to see Pepper and Rhodey smiling at him. He had done good. He was helping people.

“Thank you, Tony, so much for your time and being so open about your struggles with mental health. It helps raise awareness for everyone around the world.” Ellen told him and Tony smiled.

“I just want to make this world a better place and I’m willing to do the part.” Tony said simply.

“Tony Stark, everyone!” Ellen announced, standing up. Tony stood up and hugged her.

“Thank you, Tony.” Ellen whispered in his ear.

“My pleasure,” Tony told her, before pulling away from the talk show host and he waved to the crowd, before walking off towards his dressing room. He sat in front of the mirror as he now realised that everyone in the world had been watching that interview.

“Tony?” A knock at the door alerted him to someone’s presence and he knew that it was his wife.

“It’s open, Pepper.” Tony called out. He turned around as the door opened, revealing Pepper, Rhodey and Zoe. He smiled at them.

“Good work today, Tony. I’m proud of you man.” Rhodey told him simply, a proud smile on his face.

“Thanks, Rhodey.” Tony smiled.

“Dada!” Zoe called out, interrupting any further conversation between Rhodey and Tony. Tony grinned at his daughter, who raised her arms out to him from Pepper’s embrace.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Tony smiled at his daughter, grabbing her from Pepper’s arms. Pepper grabbed his arm for a moment.

“I’m very proud of you Tony. We all are.” Pepper told him sincerely.

After the interview with Ellen, Tony was hounded by press, the public and his social media. Most of the world praised him for his honesty, for shedding a light on mental illness whilst a few said he only did it for the money, that he never actually suffered through his mental illness. It annoyed him greatly, and at one point it got to him until his wife unsurprisingly put the record straight for him.

His teammates were shocked at his revelations and at first they seemed to be unsure on how to approach him until he told them to act like themselves, just like he did with them and they all relaxed.

Until he died, Tony Stark became a well-known public figure for being an advocate for mental health, something he always spoke so passionately about. He changed the lives of millions through his work, something he was incredibly proud of and eventually, it inspired his daughter to continue his work when she grew up.

That was a legacy he was proud of.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story as a way to express how much Tony Stark has gone through and to show that I think if approached and thought about, he would be an advocate for mental health and I think he’d talk about it with an approachable and loving person, like Ellen is (or as she’s shown to be {she’s one of my favourite celebrities}). I’m also passionate about mental health and awareness, so that’s sort of where this story stemmed from. Tony's also my favourite character, of all time along with Remus Lupin from Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes and Castiel from Supernatural.  
> Please comment to let me know what you think and if I should continue this story, talking about Tony's advocacy!


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